Truthfully, TRUTHFULLY I went into Waterloo Engineering not 100% sure if engineering was the right path for me. I thought teaching was my chosen career but I felt like engineering was my only choice after getting declined from my dream program at Queens. I admit I was scared because I knew there were geniuses in engineering (and there are a bunch) and then, there was me. With my fingers crossed hoping I wasn't the dumbest kid, I walked into my first class. There they were. 120 of future civil engineers siting in RCH110. Everyone looked SO SMART. Seriously, they looked SO SMART. There were more students than the number of seats so for the first couple of weeks you had to stand during our 4 hours of lectures if you were late. However, as the weeks passed, there were less students standing and more empty seats. I WAS DOING IT! I was surviving engineering. I wasn't one of those kids that dropped engineering and went crying to their mommy (but I wanted to a couple of times.) There were courses I hated like linear algebra (it should be called linear abstract english cause there was no math involved D: ) and physics. There was one course I enjoyed which was civil engineering concepts course, SURPRISINGLY.
Fast forward to the week of midterms. OH MIDTERMS. One every day for 5 days. We called it "hell week." I don't think I've ever studied that hard in my life and I guess it paid off. I did everything really well except for physics (62% HELL YEAH class average!) This is where it went downfall. I got cocky/overly confident about my student habits. After midterms I didn't study and it took a toll on me during exam week. I can say confidently that exam week was one of the worst weeks of my life. Calculus was the first exam and I thought I studied really well for that but walking out of that exam, I knew I screwed up. I came back to my room thinking, "how the hell am I supposed to pass the other exams when Calculus was supposed to my easiest?" The following week, I had remaining 3 of my exams in 5 days (Monday, Wednesday and Friday). OH MY GOSH, it was bad. I remember having a couple meltdowns for linear algebra exam and calling my mom telling her I'm going to fail. That course was going to be the death of me. I walked in knowing 70% of the course. I drew a picture on the exam and wrote "Should of studied more. Back to 1A." That's how bad it was.
During those two exam weeks I learned a lot of things about myself. When I called my mom crying about my linear algebra exam, she yelled at me. I was hoping she would comfort me with her motherly words, but she was lecturing me. She was right. There is no one else in this world that can take my exam for me. There is no one that will make me successful except for me. I also realized the value of family, more importantly, my parents. I remember writing blog posts about how much I hate them and couldn't wait to leave home. I was such a little brat. People would tell me "Oh you're going to have such a hard time if you go to Waterloo because it's so far," and I'd always laugh it off. BUT OH BOY was I homesick. I missed my mom's food, my dad's hugs, my awesome bed, my life back in Richmond Hill. I hated how my mom wasn't there to stay up with me if I had a project due the next day or how my parents would pray for me when there was an upcoming test. I never realized how FRIGGIG AWESOME MY PARENTS ARE. Let me show off a little bit now. Okay so the night before my linear algebra exam, I was walking back from the library. I called my mom and told her, "Mom I'm so hungry and there is no good food at the cafeteria at midnight." My mom asked me what I wanted and I told her that I wanted Kimchi fried rice. WELL MOTHER COMES THE NEXT DAY WITH PAPPA JEONG WITH 3 CONTAINERS OF KIMCHI FRIGGING FRIED RICE, A THERMOS OF FISH BALL SOUP, UDON NOODLES, AND A BUNCH OF OTHER FOOD. DAS RIGHT, be jealous.
LOL, this blog post is so useless. I came home and it was the night that all our marks were coming out. Wateroo engineering program is so mean. All the marks come out right at midnight. I was skyping with one of my good friends and telling her, "Dude I failed I failed I failed." The night before, I had a dream I got 13% on linear algebra. :'( The whole day I had a gut feeling that I would have to retake 1A next fall. When I finally had the balls to look at my marks, HOOOOOOOOOOOLY I looked up to the sky with a tear in my eye thanking the Lord for the marks. I mean, 79 in linear algebra. SEVENTY-EFFING-NINE. Not a 50 that I was aiming for but a frigging 79! I'm trying not to show off..(well maybe a little bit ;) ) but my overall average was 84 with 88 as my highest. HOLLA!
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT I can't make the same mistake and start being cocky. Next term I need to bring my A game. I think I'm confident that civil engineering is my right path. One of the goals I set for myself is to head to a developing country and build schools for them. :) I'm excited to go back next term and learn with those engineers that survived 1A. 1B will have new challenges (LIKE CO-OP AHHHHH) but I know that I can get through it. God is always with me and I know he will help me face anything.
I'll be back with a better post some other day (probably after my church retreat) but for now, this long ass blog post willl due.
Here's a picture of me and my civies after our last exam. (These people are amazing not to mention smart! )
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