Youth Kosta '12

I've been to youth kosta 5-6 times now but I'm hesitant on where I should go or not this year. There are some reasons why:

1) I have to be a group leader.
There is nothing bad about this, but the fact that this is a korean retreat...and I'm more confident about my english than korean. As a group leader, you have to bring the group closer together and not make things awkward. I am SO SHY when I'm put into a group of strangers. How do I make everyone love each other and stuff? And as a group leader, I have to be a LEADER, as in I should be a role model to the other kids. Show them the love I have for God and stuff. I don't know if I can do that.

oh and I look like a grade 9. All the group members are going to be like "you're a leader? HAHAHAHA"

2) I love being at Kosta. I love how I can really connect with God there. How I really want to feel his presence. What ends up happening throughout the year is "oh, don't worry. I have Kosta to get closer with Him again." I use Kosta way of getting out of things. "oh I'll just be better and pray harder at Kosta." Also when I go to other retreats I have such high expectations for them because of Kosta. It's kinda hard to explain :S

I hate that feeling when you're back into the real world. You get so emotionally tired... You're on fire with God's love but as time passes, that starts to burn out. What you're left out is a lonely, scared Christie. But I guess if I go this year, I have to find a way to keep that fire for the rest of my life...which...is HARD. I



My pastor was telling us that we don't HAVE to go...but...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO :'(








WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


well here is the promo video for it:

It's kinda funny

I was reading my old posts and it's funny because I was stressing over the stupidest things.

For example, I was so worried about driving. "I can't turn. I almost died." I thought I would never be able to drive, and look at me now. I take the car out without having to worry if I will crash into another car.

There were other things I was freaking out. Now that I look back on it, I didn't have to worry. Everything turned out to be okay. This shows me that I need to pause, breathe and have my life in the hands of God. In a couple of months, I'm going to look back and laugh at the times when I was scared about acceptances.

Enjoy now, because you'll never get it back.

:)

Midterms

How hard I try for the next 2 months determines my/your future. I/You got this. Logg off facebook, twitter, tumblr, or whatever I/You are doing. Or learn to manage your time wisely (which, we all need to learn). We got this. I believe in myself/you. (: